In the Monadnock Region, thousands of generous and caring people are helping their friends, neighbors and families through the Monadnock United Way . Here are just a few examples of how some of those friends and families have been helped by United Way agencies:

Karen
Compassionate Friends

I have had a relationship with the Monadnock United Way for twenty-five years. This is because twenty-six years ago, on an otherwise beautiful day in September, my son Joshua died from a very sudden illness. I was a single parent, and Joshua was my only child at the time. He would have turned four years old that October. 

After Joshua’s death, I was simply lost. Although still in shock, I was being pressured to be more productive at a time when I could barely dress myself. I was unable to feel anything but pain. I knew no joy, or peace, or hope. There was only pain. I was unable to think of anything but longing and desperation. In addition to the intense mourning, sleeplessness, inability to concentrate or focus, there was the loneliness. I was deeply depressed, and even entertained thoughts of suicide to relieve the pain. No one I had encountered was in the place where I was, and trying to focus on whatever they were saying was impossible for me. I couldn’t possibly dialogue with anyone meaningfully, unless we were talking about Joshua’s death.

After many months, and a slow and hesitant re-entry into life, I met with another mother who had lost an infant daughter to sudden illness. As we talked, we found an understanding like no other, and an unconditional acceptance of our common feelings. My new husband and I decided that we could provide a safe place for bereaved families to meet and share their losses and their coping strategies. We opened our home to these families every week for months. 

Eventually, after our daughter was born, we realized that it would not be balanced for her to be raised constantly surrounded by grief, and we moved our meeting place to the United Church of Christ, in Jaffrey. We also reduced our meetings to monthly, because our new little daughter needed us to not live completely in a world of grieving, but to fully engage with her as she grew and absorbed what was around her. 

We came to call this group, The Monadnock Region Chapter of Compassionate Friends. We affiliated with an international organization of Compassionate Friends, as we found we could avail of their resources and publicity, as well as specific trainings for us as chapter leaders, and for our membership. The purpose of our group is to offer friendship and understanding to bereaved parents and their families, as they work toward a positive resolution to their grief. It is a difficult journey, and no one should have to travel it alone.

The Monadnock United Way has been there with us from the very beginning. Their director at the time, was the late Jack Jennings, much loved and much missed. Jack called me when he heard about our group, and asked how the Monadnock United Way could help. None of us knew at the time, that one day Jack and his wife would too, come to know the pain of such a loss.

Everyone associated with our chapter volunteers their time to bereaved families. Still, we had out of pocket expenses such as postage, books for our lending library, telephone listing charges, and brochures for distribution to families and to those who care for them, outlining the specific needs of bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents during the acute stages of grief. We could no longer afford to bear these costs ourselves, and we never wanted financial concerns to become a distraction for these families or for our volunteers, so something had to give. The timing of Jack’s call was perfect.

Thanks to the Monadnock United Way and the people of our region, our chapter has held meetings at least once a month without interruption, for the past twenty-five years. We have served thousands of families and offered trainings to funeral directors, hospital staff, doctors, school teachers, clergy, and first responders. 

It has been a mission of love to work with our families in loving memory of Joshua, and a privilege to work with such caring and dedicated people at the Monadnock United Way, who make it all possible.

Ours is only one of many organizations in our area providing services to individuals and families with special needs. Please take a moment and recall those you know who need or have needed such services, and ask yourself if you are willing to help. It doesn’t take long, and it doesn’t take much. Just $1 per week can make a huge difference to an agency facing ever-increasing demands with always-shrinking resources.

We bless you and we thank you.

Patricia
Castle Center

I quit my job and spoke with my Dad about moving up to Keene. I convinced him to move in with our family, and I have been taking care of him ever since. During the first year he was with us, his Alzheimers was in the beginning stages. It was quite an adjustment having him in our house, but we all managed. As his disease progressed, it became more and more difficult to leave him to go off during the day to do errands or run to my kids’ school to be a part of programs they were involved with. I started to look into what in our community could help us with this problem, and I found the Castle Center - it has been a lifesaver for us. Before, I would have him at home, I would try to get him all set and then I’d run off and be a nervous wreck – now I can drop him at the Castle Center, and it is a very safe place for him to be, and I can trust they will take good care of him. I don’t worry and I am much more relaxed – there is a lot less stress in my life, but the best thing about the Castle Center is that it is meeting his needs as well.

Dave
Southwestern Community Services

At Southwestern Community Services, we see an opportunity to serve people in a way that they have never ever been served before. Because of the variety of programs and the age level we serve, I think we are ideally suited to solve a number of problems that people in the Monadnock area experience. There was a woman that called us last winter and said her elderly parents were acting strange, and they seemed to be suddenly ill and not understanding conversations she held with them. We immediately dispatched a crew to do an air quality test and found out there was carbon monoxide leaking into the home because of a faulty oil burner system. By the end of the day, we had a crew there replacing the oil burner. The happy ending to the story is that because we arrived in time there was no permanent damage to the folks and they are still there, still enjoying living independently in their own home.

Linda
ARK Supervised Visitation Center

ARK addressed a community problem. The idea was to have a safe home-like environment where parents and children could come together to maintain and build relationships and keep everybody involved. It was not safe to have visits that involve domestic violence, substance abuse, child abuse and neglect happening out in the community. When you walk into the Visitation Center it looks like somebody’s home – there are comfortable couches, chairs, a kitchen, lots of child-friendly furniture, toys and things that excite kids. The ARK has really responded to the need that exists in the community for a place where non-custodial parents and their children can come together and have quality visits and also be safe.

Matt
Mayhew

I became involved with Mayhew in 1995 through a guidance counselor at school. He thought it would be a good opportunity for me. I am from a single-parent home, and I didn’t have much exposure to men that were good role models for me. I remember just getting off the boat for the first time and seeing the Mayhew sign -- looking around and wondering what was to come and what kind of place it was, what I would be doing for fun for the next month. I also remember going down the zip line, which is lots of fun – a little challenging, but it was great. Mayhew was very supportive of me. During the summer, there were all kinds of counselors around and other campers you could talk with about anything. During the school year, one staff member comes to visit you every few weeks - you go bowling, play some basketball – just hang out and have a good time. If there is anything you need to talk about or any problems you’re having, the Mayhew staff is always there.

Allison
HCS Prenatal Program

I moved here about a year ago. I didn’t have any family or friends here, and I didn’t have health insurance. I knew I was pregnant. When I called the doctor, he said I should meet with HCS. When I did they helped me through every step of the process. It was a big help because I had no idea what to do or where to turn. They were there for everything. Otherwise, without HCS I wouldn’t have known anything about the services offered for my children or me. They acted like the friends and family I didn’t have here. They were always there for us.

Shane
Keene Family YMCA

My family and I have been using the services of the Keene Family YMCA for a few years now. It provides a safe and a fun learning environment for the kids and convenient hours. I am a Marine Reservist and in 2003 I was activated for operation Enduring Freedom. I was gone for pretty much the entire year. Being gone put a tremendous financial strain on my family and that was just one more thing I had to worry about. The Keene Family YMCA had no way of knowing what my financial situation was or my family’s, and we didn’t tell them about it. To demonstrate their trait of caring for us they came to us on their own and said “this is what we are doing for you. We are going to waive all the fees for the year.” That was fantastic.

Lindseigh
Samaritans

One of the benefits of the Samaritans is that as a very small community here in the Monadnock region, many people know each other. You see many of the same people in the supermarket or other stores and on Main Street. The Samaritans is a non-biased, non-judgmental, anonymous hot line. So, anyone… anywhere… can call and feel the support of another member of their own community. One morning while staffing the hot line, I received a call from a gentleman who said “I think I might hurt myself today, and I need your help.” Never before have I felt someone reach out as that gentleman did that day. Throughout the course of the day, we spoke numerous times and I helped him to a safer place. At the end of the day he called and thanked me for being there for him, and I thought, “How could I not be there?”

Shell and Boo's
Rise ... for baby and family

My first recollection of the United Way is that I was asked to pledge money. All I knew about the United Way was that it was a non-profit organization that helped others. Let me stress the word "Others". I pledged $52 a year - nothing I would really miss, but it would help "others". As the years went by, I continued to give, even increasing my donation- 2 dollars a week, 3 dollars a week, $156 a year to help "others". That was all I knew.

I have a daughter named Savannah. She answers to the nickname of "Boo". We moved to the Monadnock region from NY when Boo was a year old. Shortly after we moved here, Boo stopped speaking. We were not concerned; children often digress after major changes in their lives. By the age of 1 1/2, we had lost communication with Boo. She would not look you in the eyes. Food and drink would be thrown to the floor. Frustration levels were very high. She wouldn't even play with other children at the day care. After what seemed like lots of doctor’s appointments, time, and money, Boo was diagnosed as being 25 decibels deaf and socially regressed.

By age 2, Boo was seeing a team from the Rise program. They worked with us two to three times a week, in my home, teaching us basic sign language. They worked with Boo on fine motor skills and social skills. They even went to her daycare and worked with Boo. The "Rise" program always gave their time. Working around my schedule to help me. They never asked for my time or money. When I asked why, I was told they were a part of the Monadnock United Way. They just wanted to help Boo. 

I had just become an "Other".

The Rise program taught this "Other" that the drinks were being thrown on the floor in frustration. That all along, all Boo wanted was milk, not the juice I had given her. With the Rise's help, the communication increased and the frustration decreased. They even helped Boo get into preschool early to prevent any further digression. After lots of medications and operations Boo's hearing was restored. She went from 25 decibels deaf, to 5 decibels deaf. Now I think she just has "selective hearing".

In June of 2002, Boo had an operation on her kidneys. When I went to see my 6-year-old in the post-op room. She was scared. I told her she was very brave and that I was proud of her. She tried to talk, but all she said with tears in her eyes was," my throat hurts". So I signed to her " That' s ok, you can sign" I signed: "I love you" she smiled and the fear left her eyes. She signed, "I love you Mom". 

I am forever grateful and will never forget the Rise program and the Monadnock United Way. They cared enough about this "other" to come into my home and make a positive difference.

Chrystal
A family in transition

When people mention the United Way, the image brought to mind for some people is of the poor, the uneducated, and the downtrodden. This was the image that always came to my mind, until 11 years ago.

There was a time when I found myself in need of assistance. Going through a divorce and self-employed, I found myself struggling. I just needed help to get over the hump. I needed something or someone to lean on. The United Way agencies were there and helped me through that difficult time.

The Keene Day Care Center was there with a partial scholarship. This allowed me to return to work full time and build a career. The Women's Crisis Center was there to help me understand what happened to my marriage. Southwestern Community Service was there with food assistance. Later when my son was old enough, Keene Family YMCA was there with a partial scholarship to Camp Wakonda and two weeks of summer fun (something he really needed at that time).

I only needed this help for a brief amount of time, but it was reassuring to know that it was there. You know I could trust the United Way and it was like relying on "a friend walking through the door". Now I do a lot of community service to give back what I have already received. This year as you are deciding when and how to contribute to the United Way, I ask you to remember that it could be a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, or it could even be you, in need. I thank you for your consideration.